As long as I can remember, with my children and husband, when we parted, I would not say good-bye, I would hug and kiss them and always say "I love you."

I would tell them, that as sad as it may be, that when they walk out that door, we may never see each other again. At least not in this lifetime or realm.

I am happy to say, that even now, all my kids do the same thing. As they are leaving, they always hug me, kiss me and say "I love you Mom."

How do we know, that we will see them again? We have faith of course, but how do you treat your loved ones? Do you take them for granted?

I have seen people that when they meet strangers, they are polite and nice, exchanging pleasantries and then have seen them talk horrible to their very own families.

Why is that?

Many say its because we can be ourselves in front of family and that we are more at ease. Well, that's a horrible thing to say, because if that's true, then who are we trying to fool if we are rude to them and nice to strangers?

I agree, that I am able to express myself about many things to my family that I may not be able to with others that I don't know. I can share things and get things off my chest, but I never am purposely mean or degrading. I've heard that many feel we can do that because we feel that family will never forsake us because they are family. Letting out our feelings is one thing, but being nasty is another. Emotions are all a part of being human, but that's not an excuse.

Recently, my Dad was hospitalized with a mild heart attack. This had been happening a lot lately, but both times after he and my Mom had taken trips to visit family and friends. They would drive about ten hours, stopping to rest and then when they returned home, my Dad would go in the hospital, having complications.

My Dad has had trouble with his heart on and off for years but had been walking over six miles a day and eating a very sensible diet and had stopped smoking twenty years earlier. He has Rheumatoid arthritis, but he is a real trooper, never really giving into it, but continuing to work hard and keeping the homestead looking wonderful.

After many tests, finally, they did one that showed his heart was ninety percent blocked and did immediate emergency surgery, performing a double bypass to the heart.

In the time period he was in the hospital, which actually was not very long, I never got to go visit him. The hospital was about two hours or more away and two of my three sisters and brother were there on and off with my Mom. We kept in contact, but something just kept me from going to that hospital. All the years he had been in, I had never gone to see him, not once. I always waited until he was home and in a more relaxed environment.

This may have been a problem with me, but I know, years ago, I made my peace with my Dad and I knew in my heart he would once again come home, but I struggled with not visiting him.

When I did plan to go, when he got home, he was rushed back in to have fluid removed from around his heart and his rhythm was not good.

Because of her own fear, my Mom said something to me, stating her true feelings by saying "he is your Dad ya know and he is important." I cried for days, because I had let my own insecurities interfere with visiting my Dad and for what some thought, might be the last time.

Finally, only another day and he came home and my husband and I went to visit. When I walked in, I could not believe this was my Dad. He seemed to have aged at least ten years and he was so pale, even his hair seemed thinner along with his body.

I immediately hugged him, carefully, kissed his head and said "I love you Dad." I was so glad to see him, not just for me, but for him too, because apparently his fear had also wanted me to be nearer to him at that time.

My spirit knew his spirit was ok. My family doesn't really understand the depth of how much I believe in the spirit relationship, but just the same, it woke me up to a few things about visiting my Dad and how, just in case, I had not said "I love you Dad" the last time I saw him.

I was happy to see him and love both my parents dearly and have made my peace with their passing and my own. I know in my heart and spirit that I will never really say good-bye, just "I love you."

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